Birthday Jokes, Rude Birthday Jokes, Birthday Jokes Men, Birthday Jokes Women

Birthday Jokes, is now here to give you about birthday jokes, funny jokes, lengthy jokes, short hilarious jokes, birthday jokes for men and birthday jokes for women respectively.

Here, i have listed few jokes which are lengthy birthday jokes and long birthday jokes. Just go through them and have a fun all the time while you are on birthday jokes. Please let me know if you want me to post your desired birthday jokes. Leave a comment here or email: birthdayjokes at gmail dot com
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The 70-year old groom and the 25-year old bride attracted raised eyebrow attention as they checked into the resort hotel. Next morning at eight sharp, the groom came into the dining room whistling a gay tune, sat down at a table and ordered ham and eggs.

The smile on his face and the twinkle in his eye told everybody present hat he was happy and confident. Fifteen minutes later the young bride slowly trudged into the dining room and seated herself across from her 70-year old. Her face was drawn and her voice weak as she ordered toast and coffee.

The groom, now finished, excused himself and strolled into the lobby for his morning cigar. As the waitress approached with the bride's toast and coffee, she said, "Honey, I don't understand it. Here you are a young bride with an old husband, looking like you've encountered a buzz saw."

"That guy," said the bride, "double crossed me. He told me he saved up for 60 years and I thought he was talking about money!"
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A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed.

At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the vet?" asked an elderly lady's voice.

"Yes, it is", replied the vet, "Is this an emergency?"

"Well, sort of", said the elderly lady, "there's a whole bunch of cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I can't get to sleep. What can I do about it?"

There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently replied "Open the window and tell them they're wanted on the phone"

"Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that will that stop them?"

"Should do," said the vet, "- IT STOPPED ME!"
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One day a kid went to school and the teacher said, “For homework, I want you to find out the difference between ‘hypothetically’ and ‘realistically’.” So the kid went home and asked his father, “Dad, what’s the difference between ‘hypothetically’ and ‘realistically’?”

His father replied, “Ask you mother if she’d sleep with somebody for a million dollars.” The son sort of looked at his father funny, but proceeded.

“Mom, would you sleep with someone for a million dollars?” The mother replied, “Well son that is quite a large sum of money…I think I would.”

So the son went back to his father and said, “Dad, Mom said she would do it, but I just don’t understand, what does that have to do with ‘hypothetically’ and ‘realistically’?”

The father replied, “Don’t worry about it, and just ask your sister if she’d do it.” Reluctantly the boy went and asked his sister. She replied, “A million dollars? OF COURSE I WOULD DO IT!!”

So, the boy returned once again to his father saying, “Dad, she said she’d do it too, but I still don’t understand what that has to do with ‘hypothetically’ and ‘realistically’?”

The father replied, “Well son, HYPOTHETICALLY we’re sitting on two million dollars, REALISTICALLY, we’re living with a couple of whores!”
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A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, “You know, I’m not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?”

The big guy nods slowly. He’s obviously fielded this question many times. “One day,” he begins, “I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream.

So I picked up the frog and it said, “Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes.” So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.

She said, “You now have 3 wishes.” I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, “I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger.” She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!

She then asked, “What will be your second wish?” I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, “I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream.” She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. “We then made love for hours!”

Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, “You know, you do have one more wish.

What will it be?” I looked at her and replied, “How about a little head?”

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