Birthday Jokes, Birthday Jokes Men, Birthday Jokes Women, Rude Birthday Jokes

Birthday Jokes, is now here to give you about birthday jokes, happy birthday jokes, birthday jokes for men and birthday jokes for women respectively.

Here, i have listed few jokes which are lengthy birthday jokes and long birthday jokes. Just go through them and have a fun all the time while you are on birthday jokes. Please let me know if you want me to post your desired birthday jokes. Leave a comment here or email: birthdayjokes at gmail dot com
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A businessman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls-Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest , which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is; why would you bother to borrow $5,000?

The businessman replied: Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?

A lady and her young son were travelling in a taxi in New York. As it passed a particularly seedy part of the city the boy was fascinated by the garishly made-up women who were walking along the streets accosting some of the male passers-by. He asked his mum what they were doing and she replied in an embarassed voice that they were probably asking for directions. The taxi driver heard this and said "Why dontcha tell the boy the truth -- in udda words they're prostitutes." The lady blushed and the boy asked her "What are pros.... what the driver said? Are they like other women? Do they have children?" "Of course" said the mother "Where do you think New York taxi drivers come from?"

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Kachidza was at a local beerhall when a beautiful woman walked in. The beerhall was full and there was only one one place to sit: next to him! Kachidza, always a friendly guy, decided to strike up a conversation with his pretty new neighbor. But as soon as he said "Hello, Miss..." she turned to him and screamed at the top of her lungs, "WHAT KIND OF A PERSON DO YOU THINK I AM, YOU PERVERT!"

This caught him very off guard, as all of his friends in the beerhall were glaring at him for trying to molest this newcomer. He slouched down as far as he could on his stool, and looked at what he knew would be his last drink here in a long time.

After a few minutes the lady said to him, "I'm sorry if I scared or embarrassed you. I'm a Psychology student and I'm doing a study on what happens to an innocent person when they are falsely accused of something in public. Please don't take it personally. We're friends, right? Shake hands?"

Kachidza looked at her, her hand stretched out, her eyes imploring and yelled out, "A THOUSAND BUCKS FOR A NIGHT!!! ARE YOU CRAZY??"

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The first grade class comes in from recess, and Teacher asks Mary, "What did you do at recess?"

Mary says, "I played in the sand box."

Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."

She does, and gets a cookie.

Teacher asks Billy what he did at recess.

Billy says, "I played with Mary in sand box."

Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'Box" correctly on blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."

Billy does, and gets a cookie.

Teacher then asks Bernie Goldberg what he did at recess.

He says, "I tried to play with Mary and Billy, but they threw rocks at me."

Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."

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It's an excellent essay for someone your age,' said the English teacher. 'How about for someone my Mum's age, Miss?' 'Welcome to school, Simon,' said the nursery school teacher to the new boy.

'How old are you?' 'I'm not old,' said Simon. 'I'm nearly new.' Miss Jones agreed to be interviewed by Fred for the school magazine. 'How old are you, ma'am?' asked Fred. 'I'm not going to tell you that,' she replied.

'But Mr Hill the technical teacher and Mr Hill the geography teacher told me how old they were.' 'Oh well,' said Miss Jones. 'I'm the same age as both of them.

' The poor teacher was not happy when she saw what Fred wrote: Miss Jones, our English teacher, confided in me that she was as old as the Hills. 'Now remember, boys and girls,' said the science teacher, 'you can tell a tree's age by counting the rings in a cross section. One ring for each year.'

Fred went home for tea and found a chocolate roll on the table. 'I'm not eating that, Mum!' she said. 'It's five years old.' Grandma: You've left all your crusts, Fred.

When I was your age I ate every one. Fred: Do you still like crusts, Grandma? Grandma: Yes, I do. Fred: Well, you can have mine. How old is your wife? Approaching forty.

From which direction? An eminent old man was being interviewed, and was asked if it was correct that he had just celebrated his ninety-ninth birthday. `That's right,' said the old man. `Ninety-nine years old, and I haven't an enemy in the world. They're all dead.'

`Well, sir,' said the interviewer, `I hope very much to have the honour of interviewing you on your hundredth birthday.' The old man looked at the young man closely, and said, `I can't see why you shouldn't. You look fit and healthy to me!'

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